keeping up...

Shocking news and events really put me down at the moment. Crawling to stay focus now. To change??? The mindset and the routine??? Really need time to adopt and adapt for that. My angles are the faces that can soften my heart now. Tough times do come at the moment we think it is fine now. Allah remembers me and that is why Allah gives me this so that I will remember Allah as well. Allah wants me to keep on clinging and asking for Allah's kindness. This is hard but definitely not as hard as His test to the Palestenians and Syrias. 

He will not test us with the thing that we can't cope. Thus, there are always ways and solution in every corner of life. Be strong to face it. Do not crawl to focus. I need to run cause time moves fast. Crawling will only put me way behind the datelines. Stop crawling. Move faster. Run. So many things need to be done. The dateline is just around the corner. 

Ya Allah, gives me strength so that I can manage to face Your test. You are The Almighty who owns this universe, thus guide me to go through the journey so that I will always be under Your watch. Help me Ya Allah so that I will always remember who am I to You and who am I to my husband and who am I to my children and who am I to my pupils and who am I to me. Ya Allah, please guide me. 

17th August...

Syawal is still here.. Thus I would like to wish all Muslims, Happy Eid Mubarak.  Do we celebrate it well as Rasulullah did?

17th August 2008 till 17th August 2013. It was the Fifth Anniversary of our marriage. After everything that we had gone through, I am glad that we are still standing strong. With all the ups and downs, I really hope that we will stick like this till the end. The greatest gifts, our boys, Adzin and Azraei' the knot of the ties. Always remind me that I should be a good wife and mother. Thanks to Allah for giving me the chance of being his wife and their mother. Thanks Allah for the greatest gift in life; Him.

adzin 7 months

wearing wet towel - having fever 
02082013 -  He is 7 months today. Like a blink of an eye, he is now grew one more month older. He is now able to move forward and love to play. He did not gain his weight and grew a bit taller. He had cough and phlegm in his 6 months. Poor Adzin cause he hardly eat since the phlegm makes him nausea. I do hope he will recover soon so then his weight will increase again. And today, on his  anniversary, he has fever. And yet he still active and play with me and his dad. He still laugh and smile. Poor Adzin, please get well soon. Oh Allah, please make him better. He will crawl soon, he always make the crawl stand but can't move his hands and feet properly and yet he keep on trying not to fell with his face on the floor. He still naps twice during day time and sleeps at 10 o clock at night. His first tooth was out. You can feel it if you your finger in his mouth. He can drinks with a glass now and really loves to drink water using that. He stands with a very little support and he will always try to get up from lying down and try to sit on his own. He already grasping my hands when he tried to stand.
From now on, I should be aware of these.

What can my baby do this month?

Your baby is getting much better at using her hands. This will be useful at mealtimes as she will learn to drink from a two-handled cup by herself. She will soon be able to clap, and may show her appreciation when you sing to her!

Watch out for your baby drooling more this month. Many babies cut their first teeth at this age. A chilled teething ring can help soothe those sore gums.

When will my baby be able to support her weight on her legs?

Your baby may be able to support some of her weight on her legs if she is holding onto you or a chair. She will also love to bounce. Stand her up on your knees and support her under the armpits, and bounce her up and down for as long as she wants to. This will strengthen her legs ready for walking.

Your baby may even be able to sit unsupported, which will free her hands for exploring and reaching for toys. She may even be able to get into a sitting position from lying on her tummy, by pushing up on her arms.

How can I encourage my baby's coordination?

Your baby is getting better at grasping, moving and manipulating objects with her hands and fingers. These are known as her fine motor skills. Fine motor skills are those small actions like picking things up between the thumb and finger or using the lips and tongue to taste and feel objects.

Your baby may be able to hold and sip from a two-handled cup. She may need a little assistance from you though, in case she drops it. Now is also a good time to teach your baby how to drink from a beaker.

Your baby may be able to scoop up a toy with one hand, and transfer it to the other hand easily. She may also be able to clasp her hands together and clap, with some help from you. Before long you'll probably notice the noise level increasing. Not only is your baby babbling, but she is also finding out how much fun it is to bang objects together.

To help your baby get the hang of these new skills, place a toy just out of her reach and watch her try to get it. If she cries because she can't quite reach, keep giving her gentle encouragement, but not the toy. She's just venting frustration and will become physically confident more quickly if you don't make everything too easy for her.

After a few attempts at reaching for a toy, your baby may be able to lean forward, grab it, and then straighten up again. Of course, this will give her ideas and she'll want to find ways to grasp other just-out-of-reach items. Your baby will make more effort to get what she wants.

Once you baby learns to roll over on to her tummy she may get into the parachute-drop pose where she lifts her head and legs off the ground. She may then start to move around on her stomach in a commando crawl. From here she may get up on to her hands and knees and rock backwards and forwards.

Your baby will probably learn to crawl from this position, but frustratingly for her, she may move backwards before getting the hang of crawling forwards.

When will my baby start teething?

Your baby may already have started teething. Most babies start teething at around six months, though it can start as early as three or four months, or as late as 12 months or older. About now you can expect to see her first teeth breaking through. The bottom two front teeth, called the lower central incisors, are usually the first teeth to emerge.

Don't be alarmed if your baby has gaps between some of her teeth. They often come through the gums at odd angles, and any spaces should disappear after all 20 of her baby teeth have broken through.

Once your baby starts teething, you can expect her to put objects in her mouth and gnaw away at them. You can also expect a fair amount of drooling as your baby adjusts to the arrival of her new teeth.

My baby won't listen when I tell her no. What should I do?

By now, you may already have found yourself telling your baby that the telephone is not a toy. Or maybe in your house your gentle reminders result in her tossing her rattle in your face. When she pushes back, she's not being disobedient or wilful, she's just curious. She also can't remember things for more than a couple of seconds at a time. The best tactic is to distract her from what she is doing.

How can I help my baby through separation anxiety?

Your baby may begin to show some signs of separation anxiety, by becoming shy with strangers and upset if you try to leave the room without her.

Your baby's reluctance to be separated from you may delight you but may also frustrate you at times. In either case, it might help to load a laundry basket with her toys and move it, and her, from room to room. Then you can get things done while enjoying each other's company.

If your baby is anxious when she's away from you during the day, her concern may be worse at bedtime. When she wakes up at night, even for a moment, she'll know you're nearby, and will be vocal about trying to get your attention.

You'll feel torn between wanting to take her to your bed, and the worry that this might spoil her and create a habit that's hard to break. It won't hurt to indulge her occasionally by bringing her to your bed. When the separation anxiety disappears, you can teach her to sleep by herself again.

Alternatively, you could take some of your bedding and lie beside your baby's cot. Your being next to her provides the reassurance she needs, but at the same time reinforces that her cot is the place where she sleeps at night.

Can my baby identify different objects?

Your baby probably won't know which objects are toys and which aren't, so she may make a beeline for your mobile phone if it's lying around. But she's beginning to understand what different objects can do, and she may show more interest in the ones that excite her.

If you have items you don't want your baby to play with (because they are a danger to her, or you don't want them damaged), put them out of reach. At seven months old she can't be expected to know which items are fine for her to play with and which aren't.

She may also see how objects relate to one another, so she may be able to sort toys, grouping items such as blocks by size. And if she admires her reflection in a window and you suddenly appear behind her, she may to turn and look. She no longer thinks you're actually in the mirror!

A simple game of peekaboo is fascinating to your baby, because she's also beginning to understand that objects still exist even if she can't see, hear or touch them.

Your baby loves games where people or things appear and disappear. So she'll remember that the jack-in-the-box pops up at the end of the song, and may shriek with laughter every time he pops up. You can also entertain her with a game of peekaboo by hiding your face or an object behind a blanket for her to discover.

Which games will stimulate my baby?

Your baby may enjoy playing the same game over and over because she likes predictability. As well peekaboo, try adding classics such as Round and Round the Garden and Pat-a-cake, Pat-a-cake to your repertoire.

Your baby may also love stuffed animals, both big and small. Most likely, one will emerge as her favourite security object and will soon be covered in dribble (and have to accompany you everywhere).

When adding new members to your soft toy collection look for soft, well-stitched, stuffed toys that can be washed. Other good toys include balls, stacking cups, pop-up toys, and large dolls.

If your baby has a favourite plaything or two, you may start to realise that the expression "as easy as taking sweets from a baby" no longer applies. While it used to be easy to remove things from her grasp, you may now find her protesting loudly when you take toys and other things away.

Is my baby developing normally?

Each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at her own pace. These are simply guidelines to what your baby has the potential to do, if not right now, then soon.

If your baby was born born prematurely (before 37 weeks of pregnancy) you'll probably find that he needs more time before he can do the same things as other babies his age. That's why most babies born prematurely are given two ages by their doctors:
  • Chronological age, which is calculated from your baby's date of birth.
  • Corrected age, which is calculated from your baby's due date.
You should measure your born prematurely baby's development against her corrected age, not her actual date of birth. Health professionals will assess your premature baby's development from the time she should have been born, and evaluate her skills accordingly.

If you have any questions at all about your baby's development, talk to your doctor or health visitor.

Iktibar... Astaghfirullah... Innalillah...

Beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini kita sering mendengar cerita anak meninggal kerana ditinggal di dalam kereta bagi tempoh masa yang lama. Ditambah dengan kes terbaru semalam di USJ4. Setiap yang berlaku sememangnya ada hikmah kepada yang mengalaminya. Bagaimana pula kepada kita yang mengetahui dan membaca mengenainya? Adakah kita mengambil iktibar daripadanya? Hikmahnya kepada kita yang mendengar tragedi ini adalah iktibar. Dengan mengambil iktibar kita akan lebih berwaspada dalam setiap tingkah kita. Terlalu banyak kes sebegini berlaku menunjukkan kita kurang mengambil endah isu isu sebegini. Tidak hairanlah syarikat insurans boleh menyaman semula ibu bapa atas tuduhan kecuaian keluarga sebagaimana yang terjadi kepada ibu bapa di Klang.

Saya menulis hanya untuk menyeru kepada semua ambillah iktibar atas setiap apa yang berlaku walau hanya kita tersepak batu pun. Setiap apa yang berlaku pasti ada sebab musabab. Kitalah yang seharusnya menilai dan berfikir.

Quick view...

Adzin Aqmar at 1 day. At my mom's house. Spent confinement period at hers for two weeks. Had jaundice. A little amount. Not exceeded 10.00.
Adzin Aqmar at 1month old. During checked up. his weight was 3.7kg. Staring at anything during the day. Slept twice a day only. Slept all through the night. Once woke up for bf. Nurse advised to wake him up however I didn't do it coz he slept less during the day.

Adzin Aqmar at 2 months. His weight was 4.3kg. Smiled and stared. Captured the smile. Sleeping Schedule, remained the same. Slept twice a day and the whole night through.

Adzin Aqmar at 3 months. His weight was 5.3kg. Smiled and stared. Laughed and responded to voices and reactions. Sleeping Schedule, remained the same. Slept twice a day and the whole night through.

 Adzin Aqmar at 4 months. Weight; 6.0kg. Began to move side to side but not yet rolling. Captured the serious face after woke up from his nap. Responded to his brother. Smiled and played with his brother too.

Adzin Aqmar at 5 months. Weight 5.9kg. Decreased. Height 63cm. He had cough. Terrible cough. Didn't want to bf at all. He had cough for two weeks. Poor baby. However he still happy and cheer. Always play along with us. He could lie downward and rolled over now.

 This is Adzin now. 6 months. His weight 6.4kg. Height 65cm. Play along. Love to laugh. Love porridge, puree and nestum. His cough attacked him again. It's almost 2 weeks now. Pity him. Less sleep and less eating. Rolled over and push up his torso upwards. Beginning to lift up his bump also. Can't wait to see him crawl soon. He definitely can stand and sit with help now. Hope he stay strong and healthy. 

adzin aqmar...

He is already 6 months now and there is none entry about him yet. Grrr... Sorry dear. Too much in my mind and I forgot to do this.

It began at 1200 noon. I had the stomached, felt like something pushing the belly. I lied down cause I couldn't stand or sit; I hardly breathe if I sit or stand. The pain lasting for the whole evening. At 0000hrs, 1st Jan. I already felt the contractions. Very little contractions. I didn't want to wait until my water broke and since I was able to walk down the stairs on my own, so I asked my husband to take me to the hospital. Arrived at the hospital at 0230hrs. The rooms were full. I had to wait outside. Got a bed, lied down and wait for the doctor. The doctor came and checked me in the ward. Still early, only 2 cm. The pain continued and in normal contractions. The doctor came once again, and said it was 4cm now. I was glad, cause he will came out soon. At noon, I felt the strong contractions and called the nurse. I thought that this was it. When the nurse came and said the magic words,"Calm down baby, the room is full downstairs, wait till it clear ok...'' Then magically, the hard contractions gone and stayed at 4cm the whole evening. My parents paid a visit and so does my siblings at 1700hrs. It 1st Jan, a public holiday. So everybody was there, hoping to meet him that evening. Nothing happen. Only the normal contractions, that's what the nurse said. So at 2000hrs they all went back home since everyone had to work on the 2nd Jan. My mom took Azraei with her to Malacca so then it will be easier for Mr Hubby to take care of me. Mr Hubby waited downstairs and I walked and walked and suddenly I had the bleeding and the hard contractions. It was 2300hrs already. Called the nurse and they took me to the labour room. Cleared everything out so then he will came out clean. The doctor came in and found out that my cervix was still thick but the stretches was good for labouring. So she asked the other doctor to push my belly to thinned the cervix. They poked and my water broke and I could feel he's coming. And there he was, after my third pushed. It was 0118hrs. He came out with a cry and poop.

Most people said, your second will be easier. But with my case, it was harder and longer than my first. Both labour experience, never had a chance to say "My water broke". :-).. 


I really want to write something. And it seems that nothing is interesting enough to talk about. At the moment, the focus is my children only. How should I teach him this and that? When should I teach him reading? What kind of books? What he should learn today? And most of the time, I'm lost. Not just my attention at home, even at work. I feel like I am full of nothing. It feels like flying in a blurry sky and I don't know what to do. I am stuck. Stuck to what?

Azraei' and fever.

Having fever since yesterday.He stayed home and didn't went to his nursery today even when he wanted to. Thus, after his bath, he requested his sports outfit (with the shoes and socks) and I let him wore it. Because when I told him to wear his normal clothes and take off the shoes ans the socks, he began to cry. The same happened when he asked for all the free toy sets that was attached to his yogurt milk that I already arranged in the freezer. I told him to wait a while then, there he went crying again. The worst behaviour ever. He never had a tantrum before no matter how sick he was. However, today everything seemed so wrong for him. He ate everything that he wanted and played every game and toys that he saw but still nothing was able to make him satisfied and the point that making him angrier was when his foam aeroplane fan broken. He blamed me, throwing his plane and the fan, and starting to cry. Then to cool him down, persuaded him to take a nap and he cried too, a lot. Dragged him to bed cause I am not strong enough to cuddle him and finally he walked and followed me to his room. He lied down with the shoes and tears still going down to his cheek. With a slow voice, I recited some doa and surah, begging him to put off his shoes and he was strongly requesting to sleep with his shoes so then the shoes won't go missing. Again, persuade him to put it near him, which beside his pillow and he put it there. He asked me to stay until he fell asleep. He slept with his shoes in his hands and I make him let it go afterwards. 
Really hopes that the pain will soon go.

Pedophile.. Do we have it in Malaysia?

We should teach our daughters about this. So they will know how to take care of themselves. 

What is a pedophile?

A pedophile is a person who has a sustained sexual orientation toward children, generally aged 13 or younger, Blanchard says.
Not all pedophiles are child molesters (or vice versa). "Child molesters are defined by their acts; pedophiles are defined by their desires," Blanchard says. "Some pedophiles refrain from sexually approaching any child for their entire lives." But it's not clear how common that is.

Does the medical community consider pedophilia to be a mental disorder?

Yes. The American Psychiatric Association (APA) has included pedophilia in its Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders since 1968.
In the DSM, which is updated periodically, pedophilia has been grouped with other paraphilias -- which the APA defines as "recurrent, intense sexually arousing fantasies, sexual urges, or behaviors that involve children, nonhuman subjects, or other non-consenting adults, or the suffering or humiliation of oneself or one's partner."
But the next edition of the DSM -- the DSM 5 -- may instead refer to "pedophilic disorder."
"[Pedophiles] would be diagnosed with pedophilic disorder either if their attractions toward children are causing them guilt, anxiety, alienation, or difficulty in pursuing other personal goals, or else if their urges cause them to approach children for sexual gratification in real life," Blanchard says.


Spent 90 days at home since last year school break. The first 45 days, I finished up the unfinished task and prepared for the next term and the last 45 days for the maternity leave and still have 45 more days to go. My abstinence period has ended today thus I had create a list for the things that I want to do at home and also the list of task that need to be done when I finish my leave later.It will begin tomorrow however I won't tell cause it is a secret.

My new born baby boy was borned on the 2nd January 2013 at 0118hrs. 78 minutes late from new year. It was an unforgettable moment and totally different situation from his big brother.

On the 1st day; his size was;
Weight : 2.825 kg
Height : 48cm
Abilities : Defecated during labour, thus we were discharged at 1400 hrs on 2nd January, cry and sleep

He is now 45 days old. The check up went well and he gained a lot in size. During the 34 days old (cause that is the day he went to the clinic);
His size was;
 Height : 53cm
Weight : 4.0 kg
Abilities : Respond to light and loud sounds, look at the person near him especially during BF

My first boy; he is happy and love to play with his brother. Even though he shows some attitude lately, I know that he is actually adapting to the situation that he is now a big brother.  And his mother and father are busy handling his brother rather than him. Thus, we need to be smart and deal with that situation so then he won't feel lonely. To cope with that, we spent time with him when his brother is sleeping mostly in the night.
Most important is, he knows when he can play with his mother. So every time his brother is sleeping, he will make sure I focus on him and not anything else.

Life... It is like a dream. I just don't believe what had happen to me. My sister used to say, "Macam  main main je kan?" Only Allah knows what will happen next and we only pray for the best.